If you have been in Facebook lately (and I'm sure you have), you must have noticed a fad that has gone wild these past few days. People have been so busy joining groups that would help identify themselves with their own hometown, school or ethnicity. Names of groups like "You know you're Spanish when", "You know you're Filipino when", "Taga CDO Ka Kung" (You're from CDO when), "Taga XU Ka Kung" (You're from XU when), and so on... Since the groups were set in public, I was able to view it and saw how much fun all the members were having as they reminisced their crazy old idiosyncrasies.
I studied in Xavier University (XU) for seven years, so I joined the group for the heck of it. I thought maybe just for fun. I admit that some of the posts made me really laugh my butt off. Especially those crazy embarrassing things we used to do which were now out there in the open! Ohh.. Gone are those days, I thought. At the same time, I also sensed some pride from the members as they discussed certain things that would come up on their minds. That moment brought me back to those days. When I enrolled in Xavier University High School (XUHS) and officially became an Atenean twelve years ago, boy wasn't I so proud! The school was one of the most prestigious schools in town. Being part of it means you must have done good. You must have gotten what it takes and all. I remember so well how me and my classmates used to believe how good our school was and we were pretty convinced that we had the best one.
I used to get praises everytime someone knew which school I went to. My parents, aunts/uncles and friends would be so proud to tell other people that I was an Atenean. Back then, that was the only thing that mattered much and it was everything I could have thought would be so wonderful.
I loved the school so much. It became my training ground and my comfort zone. It had a strict curriculum and the subjects were hard. Some students weren't able to make it but I managed to do just fine. When I reached college, I was already determined to continue my education in the same university, despite how much my mom and sister convinced me to transfer in a different school which had a better facility for my chosen course but wasn't as hard. Why the hell would I transfer? Are you kidding me?! It was the best!
College wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, especially on my chosen course. As I went through college , I dealt with a lot of pressures in different aspects of my life; personal relationships, friends and of course academics. Studying in XU was rough. I remember going through a lot of tough times with my subjects. My grades were failing. I didn't take time to study. I didn't know what I was doing. My life was falling apart. For the first time in my life, I was a big disappointment. I usually masked my frustrations by spending time with my friends. I was constantly in denial, which didn't help me in the long run. Finally, my family intervened and strongly suggested that I should transfer to another school. I didn't listen to them. I always told myself that I should graduate in this university no matter what. If I had my diploma from this school, I believed that employers would hire me faster than others. I didn't know anything beyond the walls of my campus. It was my comfort zone and I was confined within its walls. Little did I know that my mind was just crippling me from unfolding another layer of myself...
To make the long story short, I transferred to Liceo de Cagayan University the following year. It was the same year I lost my dad due to cardiac arrest. I wasn't able to cope up with my grades due to my absences. The pressure was just too much to bear and they didn't offer the subjects I needed to take for the next semester. It was the only way for me to graduate faster. At that moment when I stepped out from my comfort zone and took a leap of faith, it was a decision I always treasured all my life.
Truth be told, It wasn't hard for me to adjust in the new environment. The people were surprisingly very accepting. The instructors were very approachable and students were able to talk to them in a very casual way. Everything seemed really cool. When it comes to academics, the pressure wasn't as bad as the previous one but the instructors also wouldn't miss out important details that the students needed to know. It seemed very different in a good way. They were very warm, friendly, grounded and fun. They never pride themselves too much but still love the school in any way. They didn't think they were the best but they knew they had the potential to be. They weren't the most intelligent people on earth but they were wise and street-smart, I swear those qualities helped us make it through. Probably what I loved most about it was how contented the students were yet at the same time, also strived to be better. They never judged you with your looks, wealth and societal status. Everyone connected at an entirely different level. Everyone was equal. And although I only studied there for two years, I felt like I belonged there all my life.
All the double standards I used to hear started fading away. In just a little time, I couldn't help but love my new school. It taught me a lesson that I could carry with me all throughout my life. And as the saying around the campus goes "If you can make it in Liceo, you can make it anywhere."
Now looking back in Facebook, clicking back to the group. Suddenly everything seemed unfamiliar. What am I doing in this page? I thought. I didn't feel comfortable anymore so I left. I decided to join the LDCU group too, but then I canceled my request. I didn't know much about the school anyhow because I was only there for two years. Then I realized I don't belong to any of them. I was just like a light that traveled and went away. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the most important lessons I learned in school was not found within its walls. I was an Atenean the most when I learned to let go with my heads up high. And I was a Licean the most when I dropped all the judgments and double standards in my mind.
I don't feel like identifying myself any longer. I believe that both universities molded me into becoming the holistic person that I am now. Identifying myself to a certain group or school only limits myself. I don't know who I am... which is good. To be nothing means I can be everything.
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